Finding the fixx

So it is that time of year again where I promise that I will change for the better. My resolve has always been to simply quit everything for clean living that lasts for the first two weeks or so before (like the majority of us) reverting to my old ways. This year will be different…I promise!

In truth, I cannot remember a time when I could actually see my belly button. I have stretch marks all over my stomach from the yo-yo diet that I seem to follow. I have a bad relationship with food.

I have never been good at or had much confidence when it comes to sports. My attempts at exercise are cursory – in fact, I try my best to remain in total anonymity in the gym or any sporting activity for fear that someone spots me as some kind of fraudster. I need to really push myself (like many people) to do exercise, as my natural instinct is to avoid it in its entirety instead of looking “stupid” as I take part.

Don’t get me wrong (with a little bit of peer pressure), I have done more sporting activities over the last couple of years than I did in my childhood but, just like my diet, my activity levels fluctuate. As long as I know what I am vaguely supposed to do then I enjoy taking part, at least in the moment, but it certainly doesn’t come naturally and I always feel like I am on someone else’s turf.

The reason I go back to my comfort “couch potato” zone and fail each year is that, for me, healthy living is not my natural habitat; there is also a mystic around what I need to do in order to properly achieve my goals is all too much; and like everyone else, life gets in the way – I have a few too many drinks on a Friday night, I grab food from the most convenient place on the way home (more often than not) and I sleep in at the weekend instead of heading to the gym.

Not this time, I am on a journey to find my fixx…

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